Selfless
by happy-days145
Summary: “I LOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOUUU! I LOOOOVVVEEE YOU HERMOINE GRANGER!” I cried and screamed out loud, exhaling a relief of air, till my lungs ached and gave into defeat.


Don't own the characters...

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"I LOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOUUU! I LOOOOVVVEEE YOU HERMOINE GRANGER!" I cried and screamed out loud, screaming a relief of air, till my lungs ached and gave into defeat. 

That was my long-awaited confession…my declaration of love…

….so you ask me what's missing?

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I watched him incessantly playfully tug on her curly locks…it angered me..I watched him whisper in her ear and watched her face break into laughter…it infuriated me…and then I watched him hold her hand…I squirmed in my lonely seat…I almost cried…because she held it back..because I can't use anything against him...because I'll never be that guy. Even heroes don't get what they want. It angered me to envy and want to replace his shoes. It made me feel small…pathetic…inferior to him when I knew that I was so much more than him as quoted once…long ago…by my former best friend…who grew into the crush I never expressed my feelings to...and now the love that I have to let go of before it causes more damage to myself, and now more for possibly causing damage to their happy relationship..to her happiness. Now they're cuddling. _God…I need to end this..I need to get out of here…_

Before I left my seat and entered into the hallway for the last ten minutes of lunch, I glanced at her and caught her gaze…brown met green and melted together to form a mysterious dye…she merely smiled at me and I smiled back at her and then watched her smile grow even wider when brown met blue once more. I couldn't help but smile too, even if it wasn't at me. It was impulsive, contagious. I didn't care where she smiled, who she smiled to, and even why she smiled. I just cared that she did it all …that she was happy..even if it wasn't with me. I hated watching her plead and beg me for an explanation for my aloof behavior lately. He never deserved her, but may be that's why they're meant to be. He needed her to help him and I have to admit, he changed a great deal. It amazes me what she can do, but it now I realize it shouldn't be a surprise. It now hit me. Reality gave me a great, big slap in the face. Hermoine gave me the influential boost I needed. I'm finally going to stop being myself for a while and learn from Hermoine, my better half..what she inevitably taught to me. For once I decided not be selfish, to do the most selfless thing I've ever done in my entire life. I ran. I didn't know why and where, but I ran..ran from it all…from the pressure of Hogwarts…ran from the life I left behind...I ran away from her only hoping to return to her..a different person. Somehow I found myself standing right outside the roof of Hogwarts. Here I found a sudden yet strange calmness, away from the anarchy of the wizarding world and of love. I felt at peace.

It still hurts and I mentally curse myself till my day's end…

She'll never see the secret smile I hid whenever her nose crinkled when she laughed…

She'll never see my face break into a frown whenever she put on makeup to prepare for their late-night dates...she didn't need any damn products blemish the natural Hermoine beauty of her face...

She'll never see me die inside again and again whenever she happily uttered his name….

She'll never hear the desperate sobs in my sleep…

She'll never hear my heart cry out to her because I want it back…

And now I'm here all by myself…

knowing she'll never hear me no matter how loud..no matter how hard I try…

She won't hear me...when I finally follow my heart…'Hermoine you'll be so proud of me.'

"I LOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOUUU! I LOOOOVVVEEE YOU HERMOINE GRANGER!" I cried and screamed out loud, exhaling a breath of relief, till my lungs ached and gave into defeat. That was my long-awaited confession…my first and last declaration of love…I shed only one tear and vow never to shed another…for her.

….so you ask me what's missing?

The woman who was currently in the arms of Draco Malfoy.

The woman who grew to become my best friend for many years.

…The woman I loved.

…The woman I will now and hope to change for into a better man.

The End


End file.
